So my buddy @AlexLuthe thought this was pretty funny and suggested I post it. I sent this to Jimmy Johns today via their feedback page.

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Alright. @JimmyJohns on twitter suggested I fill out this form, though its the second time I’ve done so. Last Friday I tried to order a tasty sandwich from your website, like I’ve done many other Fridays – you see Friday is my wife’s day off and she takes the car for errands and whatnot. This happens to leave me stranded at work.

Last Friday your website was kind enough to tell me “Oh hey buddy, sorry but we don’t deliver to your address via our online ordering system”. That struck me as odd, since I’ve ordered online before and had quite a few tasty sandwiches delivered to my office. I filled out this form and expressed my annoyance/concern.

I got a call a few days later from some random Jimmy Johns dude (not from the local store). He said that the location that delivers to me had a PC meltdown, so they pulled the plug on the online ordering. I said “Ok fella, sounds good. Crap happens”. Now… that said I think your website should be granular enough to differentiate a temporary issue from a permanent one. The error should say “Oh snap! We are having some kind of temporary kerfluffle. Sorry. Call your local JJ, yo”. (You can use that, word for word btw – no royalty fee or anything!)

Today I tried to order online again. Same error. Now, I happen to know quite a bit about PC repair, since it is what I do 40 hours a week. Even if mutant squirrels demolished the PC, a new one could be purchased and put into service in a day or two.

I ended up doing something I hate. I picked up my cell phone and ordered the “old fashioned way”. And by “old fashioned” I mean… “completely and utterly stupid way”. Do I like giving my credit card number our to total strangers over the phone? Nope, not at all. It may have worked for my parents when they ordered me swanky clothes from J. Crew back in 1989, but as much as I’d like to timewarp back to those crazy times, I’ll stay here.

I got my sandwich. It took about 45 mins. It was snowing a little bit, so I’m not going to gripe too much about that. I guess.

But seriously. Fix your broken crap. If the local franchise owner still pops his collars and wears a Members Only jacket, have him contact me and I’ll fix his broken stuff in exchange for some tasty sandwiches – delivered via the far more secure interwebs.

Oh, and if this gets channeled to the same dude who called me earlier (random 815 area code number), have him reply via email. If my wife sees that I am getting phone calls from random 815 phone numbers she is going to think I’ve got some kind of Tiger Woods harem. I’d rather not take a golf club to the face. Thx.